It's something that I've been thinking a lot about recently. Mostly because I haven't been able to sleep in 3 days, not because I am considering marriage. Dear God, no. But many people that I love have reached this point in their own lives and it's been on my mind a lot. Now, I want to put this out there: Just because I named my blog "There is no sin except stupidity" does NOT mean that I think marriage is stupid (it was really just a funny and catchy statement). Is marriage for me, though? As of now, NO. I can barely commit to an outfit for the night, much less a man for the rest of my life. My biggest question regarding marriage is "why now"? If this person is truly "THE ONE" forever and for always, then why do you have the ceremony at 21/22/23? Doesn't it make sense to stay together, wait it out, and save the money for a big, lavish ceremony? That's just what seems more normal to me. Who I am to suggest things, though? My longest relationships were, for lack of a better description, shorter than Gary Coleman. Now, they (the guys I dated) were all great guys. None of them ever really gave me the the fuzzy, "I want to spend forever with you", "you don't annoy me by being around all of the time" vibe. We went on nice dates, spent nights together, even met the parents and, in one case, exchanged "I love you"s. So ladies, I now ask the biggest question regarding marriage: How do you know he is "the one"? And don't give me any of that "you'll just know" crap. Biologically, there may be compatible pheromone interactions goimg on, but I doubt that anyone ever just "knows" immediately. So what is it then? Do you just figure out that you can live well with them, learn that they can take care of you financially, or do you just settle? And don't you think that it is silly to think that there is only one person out there for you? There are over 6 billion people on the planet and (if statistics are approximately correct), that means there are about 3 billion people of the opposite sex in exsistence at any given time. If you plan on marrying an American, then that number is knocked down to about 150 million potential mates. 1 in 150 million are the odds that you will meet "the one" walking down the street on the way to get your latte. You have a better chance of getting struck but lightening while conceiving identical quadruplets (or something like that). When do you get the signal that you are with the right one and you can stop looking? Won't you always wonder if there is someone better? I don't think that there is just one person for everyone. I think that it is completely possible to love a multitude of people. Then, when you least expect it, you decide that you're ok settling and you do. I think that people won't don't believe that they are capable of loving more than one person are not only scared and lazy, but don't truly comprehend love. Oscar Wilde summed it up best when he said "People who love only once in their life are shallow people.What they call their loyalty, their fidelity, I call either lethargy of custom or their lack of imagination. Faithfullness is to the emotional life what consistency is to the life of the intellect--simply a confession of failures."
On a final note, I think there are some people that are born to get married and some that aren't. To the friends that are getting married soon, you are probably those people and are destined for immense happiness. That's not me, and it's not a lot of people that I know. I'm sure with people growing up and progressing in life I will return to this subject and I think it will be interesting to see my take on marriage evolve as I myself move toward throwing away my singledom and hitching my wagon to that of another.I hope this raised some interesting questions for you guys and I would love to hear your comments on the matter. Good night my friends, and good luck in you love lives.
